It’s been awhile since I’ve written on my blog… over 60 days I believe..if it isn’t exact its felt like way too long for sure! So much has happened… I’d like to say its been a summer of fun and travel..like a summer sabbatical but it’s not been that at all! It’s been a rough few months for my health in injury and illness and my well being. But surely not my faith! God has been present in all of this.. and has brought me closer to Him in all of this. I am usually a go getter… one who doesn’t stop…one who rarely slows down…David’s dad Bud teases me that I’m the energizer bunny in human form, hence my nickname Bunny . That is right up til bedtime… then Im gone! My sweet husband teases me that I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow and that’s it… I’m out for 8 hours! There is no getting up for whatever….. as long as that glass of water Is on my bedside, mind you I never drink it til morning but as long as that glass of water is there …it’s a solid 8 hours! I know… I’m weird! But it’s the truth! When my best friend and I shared a room at our best friend’s wedding she was sure I was dead… never moved, never stirred, she even checked to make sure that I was breathing! In fact I was! But these last few months have been rough for me… I’ve not felt well I’ve been in pain, I’ve been worried, I’ve had many a sleepless night ( I figured I needed to pray more) but when the symptoms and the pain increased I knew something more was wrong. I just didn’t want to admit it or even find out what it was; I just wanted it to go away. . Honestly, I still don’t want to know. I didn’t really want a formal diagnosis. All I do know is that my body was having a hard time dealing with whatever it had in it that was foreign or wrong… Yep I was scared for more than a few days. I know way too much medical diagnosis to sit by and not seek better advice and listen. So I went in for doctor visits and testing and to find out what these symptoms and pain were. After a few tests, it’s still a watch and wait….sure there are a few good diagnosis that it could be, but I’m not going to Google or WebMD anymore… whatever it might be… not only do I trust the amazing doctors in my life but it’s also it was in my head and whatever it is… it’s not going to stop me anymore. I will take care of my body, I will eat well, drink water, exercise more and take my herbs and vitamins and above all of that I will get adjusted by my chiropractor, my sweet husband. I have a life to live, a husband and kids to care for, teenagers I mentor, births to doula and a message to send.. I need to listen to my Mantra and be Joyful By Choice and that means in all things. And if that means some days a pain level of 10, then so be it. What these last few months have brought me, emotionally, physically and honestly spiritually have been to the last strings that I own! Why God? Did not enter my mind but the thoughts of will I live for the rest of my life in this pain or deteriorating to live in this way ? What really came to me was when I lost it crying to my husband, admitting that I was scared, that I was worried and that I needed to know that he knew what was going on and was on my side of this, to be listened to, loved on and cherished, even in sickness or health.. Of course he was right there, listening and trying his best to understand the girl in me (we always tease that I’m not all girl, I just don’t fit the pattern) Once I worked through that this might be and the path that God has for me, and that I needed to accept it and move on to the best of my ability, essentially accepting my thorn in my side. I’m not here to whine or collect empathy..honestly in being honest It’s been better, not perfect, not 100% but I trust that my body is healing. So I’m pulling up my boot straps and tackling life day to day, but this time with a better plan. And I believe that I have a purpose, a focus and a goal. So here I am.. Whomever might be listening… I’m keeping on because it keeps me keeping on. Doing the right thing for the right purpose… because how you do one thing is how you do all things! I want to be known not for the things that I’ve done, but for the lives that I’ve touched. Soli Deo Gloria