I have thought about updating so many times.. but i thought I’d wait until a more perfect time. There wasn’t one. When i last wrote in I said that I would not be defeated not defined by what was ailing me. That today stands true! But where would I start again?
So today, i guess my heart needed to explain, but I wanted all of that garbage to be over and a victory story posted. So here it is, so I can get back to where I was or better, where I’ll be!
It was hard but, I stepped away from taking birth clients and gave the ones I had to colleagues of mine, i wasn't sure i could handle the strain of a birth and i wasn't about to let down the Mamas that i was in contract with. I said I would take a break from writing and coaching. I needed the time and energy to heal. I needed to focus on me
Kidney Stones, faltering adrenal glands and an ovarian cyst was a bit much to handle all at once.
As i would sit and pray, I would ask for healing and for patience. I then thought if I could get stronger and healthier, i would always take the best care of the body that God had given me. I had a huge part in my potential healing, in mind, body and spirit.
So i started on a journey... a journey of wellness, for me... not for what i could look like or what kind of body i could achieve, but to be the best me i could be.
First, was a sabbatical with my husband taking care of me, sleeping and resting for almost a week, it was the beginning to my new beginning. So this journey took me into training my body, mind and soul that I could do all that I set my mind and heart upon doing
When I got home, I was ready to be stronger. I started slow and built up strength.
I started a daily devotional, feeding my spirit.
I went back to the gym and kept going. and going and going. I went from not being capable of carrying in the groceries to being more than able to haul the feed for my animals. That was a glorious day!
I signed up for a 1/2 marathon (still not sure what state of mind I was in at that time, a little crazy I am absolutely sure of) and I didn’t die, i figured i could walk 13 miles so what was there to lose?
and then... I signed up for the Spartan Race.(A little more crazy!) My entire family ran this with me supporting me and encouraging me that I could in fact do it! and I did! Again I didn’t die...but i did do a horrible number on my knee.
Then another bump in the road...
and then another...
and another...
Thankfully these bumps in my road of life were not being ill again but part of me was defeated, my excitement and strength of healing had been broken. I wasn't as strong as i thought I was. I let the defeat wear on me and hold me down, the injury was stronger than my heart was. The pain seemed to be never ending.
After a year of care on my knee, considering surgery and looking at all of my options. I had to step out of the gym. I had to...I needed to get better. I needed to heal, I needed to stop re-injuring it. I would do anything to have my knee feel better and to not limp around anymore.
I am so very, very grateful to my son Dr. Jake who is a fabulous chiropractor, for patiently taking care of my knee and everything else i damaged on that Spartan Day. It was one day at a time, one adjustment at a time, one cryotherapy session at a time. And then that first day came, the day that I didn’t feel pain in my knee. I was and still am so very grateful for the healing that was done on my knee.
And so now... my journey begins again, this time a bit wiser and a bit more cautious apparently I’m not as invincible as i thought. Who knew? “This ol’ girl just ain’t what she used to be!” and I giggle a little at that comment to myself, because inside I know its because I can be better than I was!